but everythingmeans nothing.

Friday, February 28, 2003
aLrite~ dIdn't want to blog... but nevEr blog for some time already. FeEling lethargic todAy~ dUn knOw y... aNyWaY.. yAzUkA hit his target!!! yEaH~hapPi 4 him.. hE mAy bE going to gEnTing after all... wHaT shall we talk about today? hMmm.... 28 fEb 03... +hE release of O level results! oKie then... lEt's talk about results! (sOrRy eh~)
lEt's start with my friends~ okIe... celeSte kinda disappointed with her results, well, of coZ as a gooD friend of hers... I will be sad mAn~ bUt anyway... I wish her gooD lUcK whever she gOes! nOw kAte... She said she only improved on her mAths... and now she could go into a JC.... bUt I also dOn't know what will she choose... sHe retook her Os jUz to go JC... wouldn't it be wasted if she go to pOly instead? aNyWaY~ I wish her gOoD lUcK 2! noW... mY eX-StEaD (cHeNg kWeE)... hE failed his eNgLiSh and gOt D7 for mAthS... & I think he will try to appeal to poly ... if not he will go and take private diploma.. wIsH hIm lUcK tOo...
nOw movE on to my clAsSmates who retook eNgLiSh... yAo cOng didn't manage to improve but dOrEeN & zHi qIaNg did... zHi qIaNg even got a B4! wOh` everyone was so happy for him! GOOD LUCK TO ALL!
noW move to me LoRz... nothing much to say.... juZ wanna say that I am kinda disappointed in myself... cOz I don't think I scored really well for +hem.. FoR sHanNen and bEnjAmIn... they aim for A/Distinction... mEe too lA... but don't know if I still can make it this semester... mAybE it is time for me to... "rEtirE"? I hope this one week break and help me to recharge me determination... or else.... die lAhZ make my parents disappointed... aNyWay... I don't know if I still can keep it up...
tHaT's the end folks~ taLk to ya another time... vErY tired!
*ZzZzzZzzZz
if i ain't got you|11:14 PM|

Wednesday, February 26, 2003
SiCkeNing mAn~~~ dOn't know why all the pictures couldn't see.... that's why I removed it away... anyWay... dUn look at the old bloGs will do ^_^..
very lOng neVer bloG... BuSy preparing then very tired also.... tOmorRow fReNch tEst.... eh!!! nErVouS! hOw? cAn't afford to fail this thing.... tOdAy mY sChOol ended early... ShAnNen, bEnjAmIn & I stayed back to learn our french... about 3+ hours... then after that... I went to yAzUkA's place. finaLly seen him. Few days before... very hard to talk to him cOz he is vErY busy... cUm back home only at about 4 + AM!! ... HoW to tAlK??? bY the time I am a pIg already~ I duNno if I am seeing him on fRiDay~ I won't dare to put high hopes on seeing him... I took the chanceto see him today cOz I'm afraid that I won't be able to see him for this whole week... yEah~ tHat's how busy he is now.... +ha+'s y I am always SiAnz.... EvEyDaY go home and study for tests... nXt wEeK is my holiday already.... dOn't know if I could see him more often... I doubt so... he is always bUsY bUsY bUsY...♪♪♪
I don't know if I am getting used to this kinda life or I am very tired to go and fight for time to be with him... I hOpe it is a positive effect... I am getting used not having chats with him in the nights.. SOmeTimes I hope he could mEsSaGe me once in a while to tell me how muCh he misses mE, lUv Me etc... bUt nOne.. *dIsappOinting... I don't beliEve that hE can't spare fEw oF his pRecIouS sEcOnDs to message me those things right? sOmEtImes... mY pHonE is so redrawn fRom HiS mSgS... until I have this feeling whether does he exist in my life* lUckIly... he did call once in a while... but went off fast too... wHeRe are the laughters & joYs? I bArely could hear it anymore... hE iS always so serious now..... always getting stressed about his work... afraid that he can't attain his goal... cOmE'on.... gIve some leisure time to ur brain k?? nOw is only 10+... doN't know how... dOn't feel like studying too.....
* yAzUka... I don't really have much faith in this relationship if this continues... I hope that things will turn out better after yOu got wHat you want... gOoD lUcK~*
♂kRïStå wAitinG fOr hOliDaYz♀
if i ain't got you|10:49 PM|

Monday, February 24, 2003
hIyA! hAi~ typed a very long one this morning but got error!!! sHitz... anyway I will say it again and I'll try not to miss any information. I was saying that I slept 6+am this morning and woke up at 8.30am... Y aH? wHat else... I quarrelled with yAzUka... oF coZ tired lorz... I've realised something about myself after the quarrel... I judged people too fast.. is it true? I don't KnOw~ aNywAe, I've realised that I am a a baD gIrlfriend (or failure)... who don't know how to understand my boyFrIend.... I know everyone has his/ her own dreams... bUt dO I have to interfere? I dUn tHink so.. cOz yAzUkA & I are not married yet... I want to undErstAnd him... but whO uNderStands me? I admiT that I am too naive or childish... bUt you hAve to Give me Time to develoP rite?
I am very uPset... reAlly... worst still is that tOmorroW I have a EcOnOmIcs test.... I couldn't really get it over. eVeryone has the right to fight for their own dreams but I feel that whenever they fight for some things, they have to think about the people around them who gave them the encouragement and support. wItHoUt tHose encouragement... pEoPle will not suceed too. wHat is |ove? Is |urve important? I think is yes... without love... you won't have the ability to strive for what you want becOz no One is there with you and without love... you won't be able to luV urself... and yOu will not go And strive what you want? mAke sEnse?* (hEy fRiendS... mAke sOme cOmmEnts lahz... lEt's be Interactive!)
mY mAin pOint is that I really want to be with him and support him... I want to treasure every moment when I am with him... cOz wHat If tomorrow never comes? aS wHat ShAnNen says.... At times, I really want to give up on the 3+ years relationship... bUt why didn't I? cOz I believe there's still hope and there's lOve within me... nOt mAny pPl can stand his head strong character... bUt Y can I? I don't know...it is magical... maybe it is lOvE.... bUt after yEsterdaY... I've realised that I shouldn't interfere too much into pEoPle's business... I should mind my oWn *aRsE.. yEsh~ coz... I am tired... tIred to care and get worried... I have mY own dReams and he has his... sO in the end... wE minD our own business... oF coZ as his gF... I want him to succeed in life.......... lEt's fAce it... I can't LivE without him... buT I beliEvE he can liVe withOuT me... coz... I don't think I am needed in his life...(~mAybe~) wHenEVer he said how his peers teach him they waY of lIfe... oF cOz I am hApPy for him cOz he knows more... AnD I felT so bad cOz I couldn't do tHat anD whAtEvEr I said... it didn't really take effect... I am his gF... and I should be the one consoling him... bUt instead hiS friEnds can do better than me... I wonder iN wat waY I am inferior... jUz the aGe... and mind concept... aLrItE.. that's why I said he do not need me... dO yOu know how much it hurts when I couldn't console hIm when he needed someone? I fElt so useless.... I hInder hIs pAth to his dreams....
yAzUkA, iN relationship... soMeoNe has to give in... aNd I will give in... iN whAt sense? nOt interfering in your lIfe and dO what U want to do k? iF I don't show care & concern... don't blame me... cOz I will aLways care for you in my heart.. yOu can come for me if you need any advice/ consolation (mOst probably you don't need it), I'll always be there for you... eVen iF the whole world turns aGainst you... I will be there... dUn WoRrY... jUz do whatever you want and I wish you lUcK... I am doing the sake for our future ( aS you are saying that you are working towards our future) and if happeN I am not your LiFe lOng partner... lEt the girl who take over my place be thE fortunaTe one.... I LoVe you. I don't want to lose you tOO fAst... +reasuRe the pEopLe around you...
|ife is noT the sAme for me anymore....
tHis is another quiz I took... tRy it out... and this is my rEsuLt:
.....kRïStå nEeDs A BrEaK.....
if i ain't got you|10:20 PM|

Saturday, February 22, 2003
gOoD MoRnIng~ yAwN* Y did I wake up so early??? cOz I have to help out at the fReCh cLub... wHen shAnNen, bEnjAmin and I went to the booth at 9am... no one was there! idiotZzZz! wAsTe my sLeePing time... I am in the school's lab now, nothing to do, so decided to blog early since yesterday I didn't really blog (lAzY*) Actually blogging is quite fun, you people should try! noW sHanNen had left, went to Ngee Ann Poly to see her bRaNdOn perform and here stuck with me and bEnjAmIn... with LinG XuAn (BenJaMiN's friend) beside me.... sianz~ dOn't know what to write too...
mAyBe... I said mAyBE k.. I will go and trim my hair cause I think that my hair looks like a MOP! yEaH~ but sEe first lor... if my mum is willing to take me... dIe ah~ eCoNs test haven't really started... maybe later in the night.... luCkIly I learnt those topics in JC before... so not that bad... iT id only the matter whether I can ace it anot...
Now the lab is so quiet... today is the last day of open house... glAd & sAd~ gLad? sO I won't see familiar faces around... sAd? BeCoz not fooD to eat! Did I ever tell you that mY schOoL's (NYP) open house like PasaR mALam? yEah~ lOtSa things to buy...the cCa booths are doing well too! mY friend said that my school's open house is veRy pOwEr...like a place to play instead of a place to study. I guess it is a success! wELL dOne NYP!
yESteRdAy, CeleSte told me that she is very anxious of getting her O levels results (nXt wEeK). Can understand her... had this feeling before. Her first choice is TP, oh yah, and KaTe might be going there too... tHen I will alone in NYP. (*WiTh jOvIn, LinDy & YaN RonG in SP*) bUt it is fine with me coZ I have wonderful friends here! yEsTeRday I saw Mr Chan Haw Ling in my school. (mY seconday school physics teacher) hE brought NoRtH vIewers(mY sec sch) here to NYP... hEhE~ I never had such opportunity when I was in sec school.... hAd a little chat and hE asked me to go back & visit them(the teachers). I guess +hey miss us! (*sHeEsH)
hAi~ yaZuKa might be going for a Genting trip next week... Friday.. 3 days 2 nights... sPoNsoRed by hiS company... wOrRied eh... and will miZ him too mAybe I might not have a chance to see him next week cOz the only day I can see him is on Friday by right~ hAi~ sianz lor.... bYe!
+^kRïStå gOiNg liAo^+
if i ain't got you|10:34 AM|

I've done a feW quiZeS... chEcK theSe out! tHoSe bELoW aRe mY rEsULTs~
aCtuALLy, there's a quiz which is " What Kind of Vagina Are You?". I didn't want to put it here cause it is kinda... disgusting... aNyWaY.. if you are interested... click on... What Kind of Vagina Are You?
See what Care Bear you are.

Which Harry Potter Kid Are You?
Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You? quiz, by Angel.
What Inuyasha Character are you?

Take the Purrsonality Quiz!
What Obscure Animal are you?
~kRïStå vErY sIaNZzz~
if i ain't got you|12:19 AM|

Thursday, February 20, 2003
AhLoHa~~ tOdAe yAo Cong(mY cLaSs IC) and his gang(a|| boyz!) gave me a belated present... guEsS wAt? A G-STRING!!! yEaH... but it is very nice of them!! tHaNks aLot... I can say that this year's birthday is a very memorable one! I thought that after having jAvA test today, I could really relax... but I found out that my french test next +hursDay is very difficult...40%! I guess I need to do some catching up!
mY sChoO|'s open house started today and I am going to help out at the FrEnCh cLuB tomorrow! yEaH~ LEaRnIng how to make pancakes and onion soup! yUmZzz.. my all time favourite! tOdAy's open house was a success... very crowded and I was almost late for class! mY gAnG and I went around taking free stuffs.. hAhAhA~ dIdN't really see anY of the nOrTh vIeWeRs there... anYwAy I spent most of my time coping up in the library to study for my tEsT~ (In the end... also keep toking cock with my gang...kEkEkE~)
hMmM~ sHiTz lah... tomorrow have to present during eCoNs tutorial and I I don't really know what's the topic about cause it is E-learning topic! (hAve to learn by ourselves) hMmM... wonder if I could get back my +es+ result... hOpe so... oH yAh~ btw... I somehow know my jaVa test result today... I got 17/20! hOpe it can stay it this way.... cOz tEaChEr has to re-check the mArKing of the papers...
dOn't know what to do liao~~~ aLso nothing to write... aNd good nEwS is... I am finally meeting yAzuKa tomorrow... after a week of hard work... finally can take a good break!
(" ,)kRïStå |uVeS yAzUkA (" ,)
s C a R e D o F f R e N c H + E s +
if i ain't got you|11:02 PM|

Wednesday, February 19, 2003
TweEt tWeEt twEet~ sO late in the night... why not sleeping? cOz I had a four hour nap juz now.... k k... but going to sleep soon, waiting for dEaR yAzUka to come back... yAp! mEeTing clients again... I think I am getting used to this kinda life! wHen I came back home today, I had a post. gUeSs who? mY JC Pal, Daniel. Let me tell u more about him in case you have many ??? up in your head. I went to Anderson JC after the release of O level results and get to know Daniel. doN't know if we are fated to be friends or what but whenever there was group work, I'm always grouped up with him... even we got the same class roles! sOmething like taking care of affairs of students in class... fUnNy eh? maThS group, pRoJeCt group etc... even the same CCA! hArMoNiCa~ bUt I qUit JC and went to appeal for poly...(dUN Like rIgId LiFe). oNLY last year during SePtEmBeR I think~, we started to contact each other again through ICQ. He shares his problems with me and keep me updated about the class. hE is a guy who don't dare to make contact with girLs! sErIoUs! mAybe becOz he is from boy's sec school... bUt he is trying his best to be friendly towards giRls! bUt y hE dared to talk to me? cOz ICQ what~ hE also confessed to me that he don't dare to get close to me when I was in JC.. hAhAhA... never seen such a shy guy before...
oKiE, back to the toPic.. dAniel gave me a birthday card but he didn't write anything on it! hE said space too small so he tYpEd on a piece of paper... hE gave me two little handphone accessories... oNe is a baby holding a squiD and another one is a metal heart shaped with a aquarius thingiE on it.... nIcE and sWeEt... He also mentioned that I am mysterious~ wHy? cOz I seldom say my things and problems~ mayBe he ShOuLD read mY bLoG ah? sO he will know more about me =)
aR~~~ tomorrow have to study again!!! tEst tEsT tEsT!!!!! fRiDaY then can see my dEar!!! sIanz eh..... sEe my life sOoOo bOrIng... sLeEpIng now......
yAzUkA... I lOvE & miZ you! hoW aBoUt yA?
~kRïStå lOvEs tO s|eeP~
if i ain't got you|3:02 AM|

Tuesday, February 18, 2003
Yu hoo~ now very bored... Don't know what to do... BenJaMin and ShAnNen are sitting right beside me now. tOdAe, we are supposed to do our JaVa pRactical, howvever, our computers do not have the required program to run it.l sIaN~ now we are doing our own stuff.. I am feeling very sleepy now.. yAwNz... maybe becoZ due to yesterday. This is my first time writing my blOg here! Maybe BeCoz I know that there will be nothing to type later... hAhA~ yAzUkA told me that he is going to tell me something about nOrMaN (yAzUkA's kindergarden friend).. wonder what is it...
Hey~ tell you something, last night, I dreant that I won in a lucky draw!!! A CAR! yEsH~ but I don't think it will happen in real life I think... hAhA~ hAi~ bOth sHAnNen & BenJamIn are very sianz too... bEnJaMIn hecking mail, whereas sHaNnEn reading someone else's blogs... aH~~~ she realised that I am blogging!! aNyWaY, can't wait for term break! sianz of school already!
oH yAh~ mUm gave me a red packet this morning... it is $100! hAhAHa, should have asked for for... cOz my auntie actually ATTEMPTED to give me $200. sInCe she can give me so much, why not my mUm rite? hAhAHa, juz kidding~
Celeste & yAn Rong wanted to ask me out and watch "cAtCh Me If yOu cAn" on wednesday, but unfortunately I am having a test one Thursday and sChOoL ends at 3... sIaNz~
ceLeSte & kAte, a message for you!!! I know O level results are releasing soon.. so wish you gooD lUCk babes!!!
aRgHZZz~~~ yAzUka still sleeping man.... hahaha.... like my dEaR pIgGy.. hEhEhE... I juz hope that he will take care of his health~ oKie that's all folks!! gTg!
@dRowSy kRïStå@
if i ain't got you|12:51 PM|

Hello. my birthdaY juz passed... YeAh~ I am officially 18! Hmmm. I went to the seminar today and I will tell you about it. I'll keep it short k?
First I went there, then some ppl started to wish me happy birthday and I am glad... +hey even asked me to take photos with them. Then... the seminar started late coZ some pPl never got there in time. oNe thing I've realised that 9 out of 10 ppl there smoke.... sO sAd eh? a|so, there was this part when the award winners are supposed to give a speech. and some took more than one awards... tHe main thing is that their speech was very long!!! tHose taking more than one awards got to speak more than once of coZ and whenever they go on stage, they changed a new set of speech but content the same... HaHaHa... might as well take a recorder and replay~ I told yAzUkA... if ever you go up on stage in future, do the listeners a fAvOuR~ make your speech short and sweet! I have realised one impOrTant thing... award winners.. most of them thank their boss, partners etc... but NONE of them thank their parents! rEa||y! they are nice ppL though.. ALL of them stood up and sang "hApPi BiRtHdAy" song for me!!! I was so embarassed! bUt thanks for this heart attack surprise anyway yAzuKa~.
Now I will say what will happen in school... mY bUdDiEs in NYP gave me presents... sHaNnEn gave me a blouse... it is very nice!!! mEliSsA & dOrEEn gave me a necklace and a cute dog keychain. vErY sWeEt! the guyz??? wEi lOng, zHi qIaNg & bEnJaMiN gave me a set of panties and bra!!! yEsH~ iT is nIcE! And I LOVE it!!! oH yAh~ Then we took group photos and at the end of the daY, sHaNnEn & I took one photo... showing the new set of bra and panties! oH yAh, ShAnNen bought one set for herself too! hAhAha~
Had my Management Principles test today... oKie Loe... bUt dUn ThInK CaN ScOrE Well...... nVm!! tRy hArDeR Chloé!!!.
One more thing.... mY sis gave me a card.... so nice... It did give me a smile =). ThAnKs ChErYl!! yoU're wOnDeRfUl!
KrIstå... still feeling upset~~~ (although it is my birthday)
if i ain't got you|12:28 AM|

Sunday, February 16, 2003
Hey.. so tired. so sick of life..... nO one UnDeRstands my ProbleMs... pPl think that it is small case... I don't. I want to play, but I can't afford to do that. Y? I have to study. I have to make myself proud. Ppl always think I am stupid, useless, rIcH lAdy... bUt I wanna show pPl that I am different. gEtting good grades is the only way to make myself feel special among my family members. I don't want to give myself stress, but I have no choice. nOt seeing yAzUkA very often is bad enough and now sTuDiEs... aRgH~ This year, my memory seemed shorter and determination getting weaker... sO weak to fight on.... eVeryThIng is not going smoothly... I am going to the seminar tomorrow anyway, don't want to spend my birthday night alone.
Finally... tomorrow is my birthday... wonder what my school dUdes getting for me... I smelt a rat mAn.. I think they are going to give me a BRA.. yAh... and they dared me to show around... pAiSeH~ nOthIng really to look forward to.... dEaTh did come across my mind yesterday... sTuPiD rItE? iF I am that kind of "heck care" student... will I be happier? dOeS it lead me to anywhere?
Don't want long holidays... cOz I think I play too much.. dOn't want short holidays too... cOz no fun... I don't know what I want... hAi~
kAtE called me juz now... +a+ hArRison (the guy she likes) guy iS rIdIcUlOuS!!! jUz becoz sHe messaged him.. bIg DeAl! hE went around and say " yoU see Kate messaged me".. nO wonder he treated her so well on V Day... aNd guess what... he is already 27 years old! sO chiLdIsH... and a bastard! I will never forgive any guys who hurt my dEaR friends.... kAtE... fOrGeT him for good... he is not worth your tears~ cHeer uP K?
I find that my blogs now are full of sadness... when will the blogs be good?! i have no idea. hahahA~~~ alright... got to go and "mediate".. SeE yA and tAke Care!
> I know the background music don't match my mood eh.... but juZ to make the pAge more liVeLy~
KrIstå fi||3d wiF sAdNeSS ;(
if i ain't got you|2:02 PM|

Saturday, February 15, 2003
HeLlo!!! baCk from V Day celebration... late ah? hahaha... wEll... I recevied two presents from yAzUka. oNe is a metal heart shaped case with 4 red roses, 4 Ferrero Roche and a small bear. vErY sWeEt, but I have difficulty bringing back to school. sO pAiSeH~ (btw, he sent it to school). aNothEr one is a bouquet of a dozen of red roses. hE sAiD supposingly is oRaNgie roses.. but don't know why they sent wrongly. aCcOrDing to yAzUkA, he said he is going to go to the shop and complain because the roses are not fresh and sent at the wrong timing. The florist assure yazUkA that the roses will be closed when it is sent to me. bUt iT is Not!
I made baked prawns for yaZuKa and he said that it is nice! pHeW~ fOr DiNner, we went to eat seafood buffet.. dELicIoUs~ then we juz walk around lorz... hEhE... went to pub and had a few drinks... Then KaTe came along. fUn DaY!!!
sIanz.. tomorrow studying test again... sIcK~ ToMoRRoW yAzUka working whole day again.... tHen sIan lor.... wisH he can make it beofre the sEmInar! wIsH you luck dArLing~
alrite... sleepy already! gOoD niGht eveRyOne!
mUaZk~
if i ain't got you|1:52 AM|

Thursday, February 13, 2003
Hey there ppl... sO tired today... ate very little today too.. I think I am getting sick... I am having a test tomorrow, so wish me luck okie? gOoD lUcK +o eVeRyone iN mY cLasS tOo~ (DBI0213)
WaNtEd to take a short nap, bit I am too worried about my test so I studied on... and I've realised that it is nine ++ after I've finished... so I didn't sleep coz it is too late. nOw I am half asleep and half awake... yAzUkA has a follow up today(his nEw jOb).. so as usual.. He is busy.. and I am all aLoNe in the night again. hOpE he DoN't sTrEss himself too much! Valentine's Day is tomorrow... cOnFuSeD feelings... I wanted it to come but didn't want it to come at the same time. Y? cOz I don't want Valentine's Day to pAsS sO fAsT! yEah... fOr ThiS whole week... I never relax... jUz study + study + study... sIcK ah... tOmorrow is my break and my next break will only be oN nexT fRiday... siAnz~
I didn't want to mention but Benjamin keep calling me " tUrTlE"! coZ it is somehow the short form of my name. mY sEcOndaRy school friends used to call me that too! bUt now... mY sEcondary schOol buddies update their data already... now I am labelled... " PuSsY, bItCh, AsShOLe... etc" * jUz foR Fun =)
wEll, nothing to say much today.... hAi~ gOoD nIghT eVeRyoNe & hApPi ValEnTiNe's Day~
KrIstå tiReD...... zZzzzZzz
if i ain't got you|11:00 PM|

Wednesday, February 12, 2003
TerRible day todae... +o+ I will feel better but my mood got even worst.... trIed to study but I can't. sHiTz... TeSts coming... how... Wanted to sleep in the afternoon to stop thinking about stressful stuffs... bUt couldn't sleep... tOo many disturbances... tried for 2 hours... dOn't know what am I thinking about too... yAzUkA is coming to moi house now, hope his appearance can make me feel better... I need someone to hold on. I lost confidence in myself, can't study. Y CaN'T I rEmEmBeR a tHiNg?!! fUsTrAtInG!!!! Didn't want to go to dinner today... coz sick of being outside. wHy am I like that? I Don't know... hope someone can tell me what's wrong. Valentine's Day is the only day I can look forward to... aNyWaE, my 18th birthday is approaching... 17th Feb... hApPi? nAh... got test on that day... yAzUkA and I plan to celebrate my birthday on Valentine's Day... Y not Monday? cOz his BosS asked me to go on a seminar... aBouT the job he is doing now... dOn't know if I should attend... or maybe stay at home and revise for my jAvA test... dRy BiRthDaY.... bUt it doesn't matter to me now... I treat my birthday to be an ordinary day.... aT leAst a saBotAge on that day will be fine and fun... |ife sucks... yah sucks... tOmorrow also sianz... continue to do the sTaTs project.. sTuPid~ maybe later in the night I go and study....maybe can absorb better... otherwise... "bia" on Saturday... maybe this time I should be a good girl... shouldn't go out so often.. and I can concentrate better... dun know what to say already... tOdaE my appetite is small... dunnoo Y...
Kk ... yAzUka come already... gtg now C Ya~
@KrIstå sAd & aNgRy@
if i ain't got you|8:22 PM|

Tuesday, February 11, 2003
*yAwN... JuZ woke up! YeSh.. now eating chocolate ice-cream... yUmMy~ sIaNz... YaZuKa went for training.... don't know how it goes... having a lonely night again.. I was so tired when I came back from school... anD I jUz fe|| asleep! hOw's my project ah? like that lor.... tot can finish today, but all the tables *cock up. Hahahaha, touching it up on Thursday again. LuCkily tomorrow holiday, or esle I will be VeRy Tired! sUppoSe to study... bUt I slept... hAi~ ge++ing lazier day by day. Alot of things to worry about lor...YaZuKa got a new job... selling the stuff... YeAh... U know what. bUt that's not a great problem coZ have cOnfiDence in him. hE is BiG enough to make his own dEcIsions.. I worry about my schoool work more.. pRojEct, tEstS and stuff. aFraId that I can't do well... can't manage my time properly...
tOdAy very funny... while my friends & I are doing our StAtisticS project, ShAnnEn played a game.. vErY fUnnY.. nOt ThE game funny... is SHANNEN! haHaHa.. *sOrRy gA|. wHen she played the game...she made many noises... what "BiSh BiSh~ ShOo ShOO ShOO" one... you should be there... then you can see the real picture... then she laugh also like the whole world is shaking... hahahaha!
YoU still remember Alan? My "very the long net friend"? We seldom contact each other these few days... then today he saw me in school... he did call my name and I turned around... I didn't know it was him and I tot he called the wrong person, then I turned back again... He tot he called the wrong person too! hAhAhA.. Ah~ let's tok about my dinner... my maid, Grace had a new receipe for prawns! YuM... Taste good... coZ it is with cheese and MaYoNaise... The receipe can be found in the NewsPapers todaE!
Okie... gtg and tok to my fRiEnds now... nOthing to say liao... ByE~
yAzUka... this message is specially for you... : +hank U for what you have done for me and our future. I really appreciate & I cAn never |ove you anY |esser! yOu CaN dO It!
*KrIstå hAs nOthIng ElSe 2 sAe*
mUaCkS!!!
if i ain't got you|11:30 PM|

Monday, February 10, 2003
HaLoW Ha~! Finally, jAvA presentation was over... I think we did okie, especially the scenerio part... sO FUnNy~wE WeRe all laughing away~ hOpE We Wi|| not get below average! ^c^ also, I did some of the sTaTs project today... abit of my workload is off. mY dEaR yAzUka is on a meeting now, I wonder how is it. hEard that after the meeting yesterday, the manager asked if he wanted to help him sell the mAttReSs* yesH tHe eXpEnSiVe mAtTrEss*. Now i think he is still having meeting with the manager. He did asked for my opinion, but I don't know what to say, really... maybe I haven't gotten over the iNCiDeNt. bUt now, it is fine with me, hOnEsT! glAd to see him making improvents in life and earn more... bUt moSt iMpoRtantly yAzUkA... StuDies come first!!! iN Singapore, no cert, no bread. That's life. (sTi|| supporting ya~) ShHhEEzZZz... YaZuKa was being a pig today again... nEvEr gO 4 mOrNiNg cLaSS! oH... wOnDeR wHen will he manage to wake up!
hEy ppL, V Day is coming... What have you planned for your dates? *gUyZ*~ dOn't disappoint the giRls! *gIrLs*~ AlloW ursE|F 2 bE tHe QuEeN +a+ dAy! I've read an article about V Day.. and they stated that V Day for girls is only about greed and disappointment. GrEed? Presents.... DisaPpoIntment? gUyZ never PlAn We||... Actually quite true ah... they say that Valentine's Day is best spent with your friends of the same gender.. or rather to a party with full of singles! hM.... i DoN't know.. but I am definitely looking forward to V Day.. *dUnNo what YaZuKa will give me? oR will hE give me sUrPrIses? I LOVE SURPRISES! *gEt it YaZuKa?* aCtually, I seldom(or should I say never?) get surprises in life... coz.. I always discover the "plot" some way some how... SiAnz ah.. I hope I don't know anything beforehand...bUt I AppReCiAte them! tHanKz aNyWae.
Juz now in the evening... someone from NTU called me... a survey... asking me all kinds of "SMS" questions... I find the questions all quite similar..He did try to engage a friendly conversation..haha... And I tot it was just a survey!.. He went one babbling on the questions and only after the survey...I asked him where is he from. I tot he was supposed to tell me first? Hahaha.. The funny thing is I tot the call was from my friend...then I said " Hello" in a very funny way... i PaIsEh~ Hai~ iT took quite long eh... dunno why I always kanA this kinda thing...
sHiTz... haven't buy birthday present for my gOd dAdDy~ hai~ maybe giving him belated coz I might not be going out this week until this friday.. hIs BiRtHday is oN sAt!!! dOn't kNow wHat tO giVe too.... wAnNa call mY deAr... mIz hIm so mUch.. hAi.. okie lar.. nothing to write liao... a mEssaGe from bErNiCe(childhood buddy) 2 mOi:
I sent My m!Sses To the W!Ñds änd Asked then To pass !t to yoU. So wheÑeVä yoU feel the W!Ñd blow!ng ägä!nsT your fäce, Thäts when i'm miSs!ng yoU...
(nIcE ah?)
*KrIstå iN LuV*
if i ain't got you|10:39 PM|

Sunday, February 09, 2003
HiYa~ Finshed my dinner at my cousin's house.. NoW watching WaTeRboY.. channel 5... DrY day today... I woke up late today (1.30pm)... as usual(PiGz?) then I immediately do all my school stufF. SiCk... So BoRing~ I am having a test on Friday and I am still stuck in ToPiC One! NoThIng to do now... look for YaZuKa? Nah... He is outside and up till now... I've not received one call from him today. He went to met up with a big client today and took a long time to discuss... I am happy for him of coz, so young being a boss already.. DuNo y these few days got a number of deals.. lucky him. =) HappI for him but sad for me.... CoZ LitTle time spent with me. bUt is is okie!
Last night I did a GiRlFrIend QuIz... and this is my result:
-Sensitive- You're Sensitive, and you'd like to
stay that way. Sorry,listened to a bit too much
Jewel there. You're sweet and very emotionally
charged. You definitely love the person you're
with, and always want to know how they're
feeling so you can make sure they're happy.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
hAhA~ YaZuKa, noW you know wHy my MooD swInGs and remembr i'll always be there for you if you allow mE~
SpEaKing of the devil.... yAzUkA called me. heHe.. he is going home now...wOnDer if he has eaten? eH... don't know why today like have nothing to say... tomorrow is my JaVa presentation... abit anxious ah... coz wanna do well you see. HaI~
Ah... I remember what to say already. tOdAy Jovin messaged me that she received the cert for the top 5% students in SP. I wonder why NYP dun have ah... They also dun send our results at our house, instad we have to print ourselves. She is kinda worried coz she thinks she will not do well this semester... Hai~ being a student... also got so much worries.
Yesterday... I spent my time on this webbiE.... hahhaha, decorating it... wIf music too... This week is V Day.. so loVe song lahz... GuEss wat.. the song is "LOVE WILL FIND A WAY" YeAh... K lar... now my SistEr also put music liao... getting to know the HTML stuff... HaHaha.. 'coMputEr WhIz' bY the way... she is only 12 this year.
MiSsInG YoU deAr... cAn't wait to ç you on FrIdAy 14Th.. oN mY MiNd~ AlwaYz...
~NeVer wAs+e åN oPpOr+uNi+y 2 sAe 'I LOVE YOU' to sOmEonE yoU lUv, cOz iT Is No+ eVeRdAy u'|| mEet +hE pErSon wHo HåS +hE mAgIç 2 leT U fA|| ïn LuV~
^ KrIstå iN tOts ^
Au reVoiR
if i ain't got you|8:07 PM|

ARRRhhHHHH!!! ShItZ... HaVe To Retype again!!! Sorry can't let you all see the original piece... FeD Up! onLy my SiSter knows why...and she is laughing....
Okie I was saying that my sister just finished writing her diary.. NoT Here.. buT In DiArYLand... YaZuKa and I worked things out...and we are fine... we PrOmIsEd not to talk about it again. OkIe DeAr? My friends came to moi house and "PaI NiAn". They are Yan Rong, Celeste, Lindy, YaZuKa, Frederick, Jovin and Kate.. Too bad Jovin and Kate came later and missed the PiZzA and KFC Feast.. YuMz~ Hahaha.. SoRry GuyS~ My bRoThEr aTe it all! (maybe my father did too but I don't know) They gave me a surprise by buying a birthday chocolate cake and a watch for me. Jovin gave me a lamp..identical to what I gave her last year. It was suppose to be a surprise but I smelt a rat when Yan Rong did the "CrAb WaLk". (YaN RonG, FuNnI Eh? ThInk HoW U LooK LiKe ThEn... shLd have taken a FoTo. Hahahaha!) I didn't koe what they are going to give me at first... but too bad Jovin said it out.. thinking that I've received the present. ShE said " I didn't chip in the watch" and she handed me the present... That's HoW I KnoW the whole plot... too BaD GuYz... buT That was WonDerFul... thank you GiRls! MuAcKz* LoVe Ya All.... oh Yah... Have to say about the boys too... They too quiet ah today... make us gals sound so chatty and noisy! AnywAe, had fun today... but tomoRroW have to start to study again. SianZ~
noW I also very sian.... YaZuKa went for another supper reunion with his teachers and classmates... So GooD ah?! That's why I am so sian over here...! cherYl(my siS).. stop looking lahz! Eh... juz to let you know that you nose is red again... have you been touching it again?
Oh Yah... share with you guys something eh.. Whenever i had problems with YaZuKa.. I always think of this song... it is from Lion King II (SimBa's Pride)
LOVE WILL FIND A WAY
In a perfect world
One we've never known
We would never need to face the world alone
They can have the world
We'll create our own
I may not be brave or strong or smart
But somewhere in my secret heart
I know
Love will find a way
Anywhere I go
I'm home
If you are there beside me
Like dark turning into day
Somehow we'll come through
Now that I've found you
Love will find a way
I was so afraid
Now I realize
Love is never wrong
And so it never dies
There's a perfect world
Shining in your eyes
And if only they could feel it too
The happiness I feel with you
They'd know
Love will find a way
Anywhere we go
We're home
If we are there together
Like dark turning into day
Somehow we'll come through
Now that I've found you
Love will find a way
I know love will find a way
niCe ah? hAhA...
Alright lahz... got to go now...
~KrïStå~
A Message for ReAders:
1) ZhU PeNg GoU YoU: Thanks for the surprise again! ~LoVe YoU~
2) YaZuKa: Remember LoVe will finD a Way!!
3) Cheryl: duN Peep too much and dUn touch your nose too much! Take Care & work Hard!
4) otHer FrienDs: WiSh yoU LuCk in any wayZ!
~xoxox KrïStå xoxox~
if i ain't got you|12:17 AM|

Saturday, February 08, 2003
*So late.... Coouldn't sleep..... YaZuKa had read my PostS..... Not HaPpI of coz... think I am scolding him behind his back.... What can I do... I am just trying to do my part as a giRlFrIend. Am I too much?
Care too much? poKing into his business too much? Maybe... I just don't want to see him get cheated. I loVe Him... & I have to worry about him now and then... This world is so cruel... Sometimes I am asking myself... Why m i so stupid.. always put others before myself. I've just realised that LoVe is not everything. Let me te|| you guys something... Although someone is loving you and you love the person... and somehow fate got u two together, doesn't mean that everything will go smoothly.. You have to go thru many difficulities and many probleMs... AcTually I dun wanna bring up the matter again.... OnCe I PoSt it here... buT... Watever. Maybe I was too "YaYa" in my previous post... I am sorry if I hurt anyone... But does anyone care that it hurts me too? Does anyone knows what I've been through.. BecoZ of Love... just Love... I can do many silly things... MANY... although I know that it is stupid and silly... buT whY did i continue? CoZ I LoVe Him... Mum is right... shouldn't fall in love.. But I didn't regret not listening to her, coz I found happiness too. Sometimes I believe there's no true love.. Coz Man are selfish... Ha~ but who cares? We girls like to be in the virtual life... think about our prince charming when we are young...etc. ArGhs... I am that kinda person who don't like to tell anyone my problems verbally but of coz I wish someone will be there to share my problems...but somehow or rather... it always solved by itself. Ya la ya la... crying now... *SoB~
My actions are always misunderstood.... I don't know why... Maybe I should not care for ppl too much and concentrate on myself ah? What do u think? Yes... No...Yes...No.... ArGhz!!!
Some ppl think I am weak... so good to bully... and when ppl say it's my fault... sometimes I will still stupidly think it is really my fault! Why.. coz as long as the other party is happI... I dun mind... hahahha. That's what Kelvin says about me... I always think of others... And once...he even begged me to think for myself... But that's my character... cannot change. Why? Guilty...
Life is like that... being a good person cannot survive... being bad also no good... EvEry Year for my birthday wish... I wish that my love ones will be happy.... but this year it's gonna be different... I wish... I wish... that YaZuKa will kick his bad habit.. and if he really does it.... IT WILL BE THE BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT OF MY LIFE. I SWEAR.
LoVe & MiZ Ya loTz, YaZuKa...
Sweet dreams everyone.
if i ain't got you|5:23 AM|

*Hello again... Well, today quite fun~ I went to Bugis with Shannen and Benjamin, eat BK then shop for BranDoN's V Day present... Anyway they patched up! HuRrAy~ Then GuesS what she bought for him? UnDeRWeArS!!! HahaHa... cannot tell u wat size lah~ later she scold me... hahaha... Benjamin didn't go to his Badminton in the end, instead he tok cock with Shannen!!! Don't know what they say...
oH btw, I just came back from East Coast... not Pasir Ris! Nothing MuCh... Just sAt TherE and tok.... YaZuKa got a deal from YiXiong(ex-classmate) today.. My DeAr work in computer line...and he earned about ????
AnyWae, HaPpY for HiM & FOR ME!!! Hehehehe, can spend more~
Hmmmm... there are things I want to say...Actually I am going to Miss Fong's house tomorrow and when I heard who are going...... I felt abit SiAnZ~ Hmmm... who ah... later you will know if u read on Lahz~ Then ... YaZuKa said he wanted to meet "W". (lEt'S keep it This way) I felt unhappy... I don't know if i am jealous or what... but I am juts unhappy.... StRange thing Is I am not angry with YaZuKa for meeting her... instead I am MaD at Her! WhY ah?~ Haha.. just don't have a good feeling about her that's all... Is like.. actually she and him not THAT close until they contacted each other quite recently... Then she dunno what helped him in the company stuff... Don't Know what stupid shit.... then now? She asked him to buy the MaTtrEss and PillOw... which cost $2000+..paying by instalments. Then somemore she say what... "I help you pay if you can't... You can return me later." Woh~ got ppl so good one ah!!! *PhOnEy...i think... Actually I told YaZuKa not to buy liao. but I dunno why he still buy it... Maybe becoz she is his god sister? BiG DeAL? $2000+ leh! not small k? Buying for his mother one larz... but he say the pillow give to me.. I Den DuN Want... nOt I pAY anyway... Never Believe in this Kinda of StupiD hEalth stuff.... Still dunnoe why he go and buy.. anywae... his decision.. not mine... He want to help his friend to make sales.... then so be it... I tot YaZuKa will listen to me FOR ONCE! But he didn't in the end... forget it... my words are never Up to HiS BraIn. Let His ELDER Friends BrAin WaSh Him... Not that I want to control him or What... But he has a Hard Time coPing His SavinGs... I don't want ppl to say he PooR or what... At least a guy who is 20.. should save up.. I know he his filial... but then... so Ex.. muZ C whether can afford it anot... (WonDer AloUd) I wonder she knows about his family background.... monthly income not so much... GiVe me the $$$ larZ... BeTtEr still...
*HE BETTER DUN GIVE ME THE PILLOW ON V DAY*(NOTe)-- whether he did or not..I rather get nothing from him... I will tell you on that V DAY. WatEvA lah.. the more I type the more angry I am.... I still remmeber my GoD DaDdy say..." better tok ur bf lah... dun be so siao to go and buy... cost alot also u know...." DiDn't even hear about the company before also..... Never do research....(This kinda ppl got to read about marketing stuff) Then BUY... Don't Know What To say lahz... AsK my OpinIon also no use.... If don't want to heed then dun ask me In FuTure k... It Is Juz like I am Being F*ck oFf like that... ANGRY LAHZ...
"""What EvEr... What Ever....""' BlAhZ.... okok lar.... got to go liao.... Update again tomorrow...
~~~SiAnZ KrIstå~~~
if i ain't got you|12:48 AM|

Thursday, February 06, 2003
*CoUgh CoUgH* + "sneeZe~~~* Ohhhh..... still having the sickening running nose. I've used up many tissues today. SICK! Cough alot too. Hmmm.... Cinsider that today is a sAd day. Ya remember my BudDy? The one who introduce me this thingie? Her name is Shannen. She told me that she and her BF (BranDoN) broke up yesterday... I don't know why, I felt sAd, really. Well, BranDoN said he wanna meet up with her today to talk things over. Of Coz, I hope to C them patch up in the end... I wonDer How is she feeling now.... BtW, she is noW with him I think, talking things over. Why LikE That? Hmmmm, about the same case as mine I think. GuYs~ ArGhs..... Haha... BtW I gave in in the EnD, couldn't BeaR to let go you see....
AlrigHt, enough of this.... Hai~ slept at about 3+ last nite. Actually didn't want to go to school, but no choice, for the sake of my studies...(WHAT IF I CAN'T CATCH UP?!) BuT Ya know What?!!! She RepEated the TopIc C all Over again!!! Sianz, i almost ZzzzZ in class but too bad I am sitting in front. Headache and sneezing somemore.... Hahaha~ YaZuKa didn't go to school too... (That LaZy PiGGy~ OppS*). He went to change the doctor and took an M.C. CLEvEr Ah~
Oh yAh, FrEnCh C|Ass... ThAt DiDier LaMe tot Shannen & I wanted to get personal with him.... I PuEeeE~ AnYhOw SaE!! SaD... FoRgot to take my STATS book and file when i left, fortunately i managed to realise it earlier.... WhY Today got so many things to say....
Alan ( my very the "LONG" net friend) wanted to meet up with me today, but I am not feeling well..... so.... i didn't meet him up.... Anyway he did wish me for a speedy recovery... HeY, Don't think I and him got *%$%^%^...... I still LovE my DeAr YaZuKa. =) AnD he Had NO Fee|ings for me too.... HaHahahaha............ WannA go and see a doc but MaMa say... self medication.....coZ got extra medicIne....Don't know whether can recover in time anot....for the ViCtoR's (YaZuKa's BuDdY) BbQ in Pasir Ris..... Sianz....
Kkkkkk lar........ very ZzzZzzZzz liao.... see ya~
~KrIsTa Was HeRe~
Wish You A HaPpY NeW YeAr!!!
*hey where's my hongbao*
if i ain't got you|6:00 PM|

Hiya~ This is my first time writing here... HeHehe, introduced by my good buddy. I find that this is good as I can easily pour out my feelings. I never like to tell my problems to my friends and sometimes I rather tell them to strangers. Strange ah? I also don't know why...
Anyway, let me start off now.... urm... today I bought something for my boyfriend(YaZuKa). Strange name ah? Of coz.... Come'on.... it's his nick!!! Hehehe... alright... V day is approaching but I had given him the present. Damn Expensive... but I just like to see him happy... =) However, I bought something for him today as I have said. A small mini bag and mini card, REALLY MINI. Don't wanna give cards every year.. toO boring...
Today is also a very stresssful day for me. I am having flu now(Sianz)... hoping to recover soon. Not only my sickness made me so stressed out, but it is also about my work too. Maybe I play to much Eh? Who to blame...ME of coz.... hahaha.... My darling always tell me not to give myself so much stress and think about my health.. but I didn't listen....HaiZ~ AniWae, I am having my tests soon... hope I can pass them well...
Oh Yah!!! One more frustrating matter today!!! I went searching HIGH and low for a book... so as to prepare for my test... but I can't find it anywhere! " Out Of STOCk!" is what i got.... in Xchange for $5 transport fee...
Hahaha... Anyway, I went to watch Shanghai Knights today. Funny, nice show. I love the NGs part at the end....Had a good laugh.
Woh~~~ So Late already.. TomoLo early clasS...
Last Msg!!! To all my "Peng You" out there... ThånK you for Being there wiF me... and of coz.. My HuBbY~ (YaZuKa) Lovè yÅ ä|wayz!!!
FoReVa KrIsTa....MuAcKz*
if i ain't got you|2:13 AM|
